Without a Paddle: Tales from the Tyne and rivers far awayTroubador Publishing Ltd, 2016 M06 23 - 328 pages Born and bred in the North East of England, David Moffatt had no intention of disturbing his deep roots in the banks of the Tyne until his University tutor asked him to go to Mato Grosso in Brazil. With a fraught love life, and his football team heading for relegation, suddenly a year in the jungle sounded like a good idea. His life is changed forever... Against a backdrop of growing up in postwar Tyneside, Without a Paddle describes David’s travels in a series of tales and delightful vignettes. Amusing, sometimes hilarious, occasionally sad, we meet his drunken bush guide that he has to disarm, his incompetent camp cook who nearly poisons his boss, an odd assortment of expeditionaries from the elderly entomologist that David has to save from the wasps to a sexchange capybara, and the young female zoologist who…well, it’s all in the book. With a major bid submission hours away, David gets locked stark naked in his bathroom in Cairo, exiting via the window to a busy street seems his only option. At the height of the ‘red terror’ in post-revolutionary Ethiopia, his room is searched while he sleeps – and was the hammering on his door in a seedy hotel in Ogaden the beginning of a kidnap? New Year’s Eve in Rio finds him in a club to which he doesn’t belong and discover what happens to the Gambian beauty queen in Banjul market. After growing up on Tyneside with a teddy bear that travelled to South Africa, playing and watching football and more football, singing with The Invaders and being suspended from school, none of this had equipped David with the paddle he needed to steer him through his travels. Without a Paddle is a light-hearted memoir that will appeal to those with an interest in foreign travel, or who simply enjoy a good laugh. |
Contents
Prologue | 1 |
Talk About Girls | 98 |
The Gambia | 179 |
Life at the Rivers Pace | 189 |
Groundnut Tales | 207 |
He Go Trek Saah | 217 |
A Close Call | 232 |
Unaccompanied Baggage and Naked Swedes | 238 |
The Nile | 245 |
Trials and Tribulations | 262 |
You Can Please Some of the People | 276 |
Back to Injera And What? | 300 |
Common terms and phrases
Addis Agricultural airport Angie Anthony Smith Aragarças Arjimeiro arrived baby baksheesh base camp Bathurst beach became beer Brasileiros Brasilia Brazil Brazilian British cachaça cafesinho Campo Grande capybara Carnival cerrado cigarettes coffee colonial cook couple course curry dance decided despite doctor door drink Egypt Egyptian equipment Ethiopia expedition expedition’s Fawcett fazenda felt flight football forest Gambia George Mikes girls going groundnut Iain Indians Inglesas injera irrigation Jânio Quadros Jeep journey Kebba knew labour land looked lorry massive Mato Grosso meat miles months moved never Newcastle Newcastle University night Nile o’clock party perhaps plane Portuguese probably realised returned Rio das Mortes river road round Ruth São Paulo seemed simply soil pit someone sort spent started stopped sugar Taituba telex took town trek Tyne village week Whitley Bay Xavantina